“Solitude is where I place my chaos to rest and awaken my inner peace.” Nikki Rowe
We’re living in a pandemic, something none of us alive have ever experienced before (unless you’re well over 100 years old!). We wear masks wherever we go. We work hard to keep physically distanced from others. We work from home and homeschool. Many have lost jobs, lost family members, lost homes, lost businesses, and so much more all while the rich get richer. Many who are either working from home or stuck at home alone have never been in that position before.
Let’s think about alone- living alone, being alone in a pandemic, about working, sleeping, shopping, walking, driving, and exploring alone. Alone or lonely? Am I lonely? At times, yes. How does that make me feel? Mostly sad. Then I ask- Is it true that I’m alone? Absolutely not. I have a dog and a cat, I have a phone with video capability, I have a computer with zoom, I can visit certain friends safely outside, although I can’t hug them, and I have a son that comes over every week. Honestly, I’m okay alone. Leaving my narcissistic ex-husband seven years ago prepared me for this alone year. I am comfortable with myself. I am self-sufficient. Hell, I drove to Denali National Park and back towing a 13-foot trailer I’d had for two years and only towed a handful of times. (For the story on that journey- 3weekalaskajourney.blogspot.com)
I can work from home. I have plenty to keep me busy and I have made some investments in myself. I joined a business and mindset coaching program with both one-on-one and group meetings. I joined the CWALU teacher training program in preparation for teaching animal communication. I am grateful. I don’t miss the commute, the hurrying, the office, the old building full of crappy air.
The drawback is that I’ve become a pandemic hermit. I’ve made this rental house not just a home, but my sanctuary. The yard is too busy with neighbors on top of me, but the house is big and light and airy. Recently I went out to be in the forest far away from humans and noise. The thrum of the freeway, startle of an explosive firework, piercing train horn, drone of a plane flying over- all noises I want to run from. What I found, though, was that I had to nearly force myself to go to the forest at the foot of the mountains. I knew on Saturday when my brain was making a million excuses not to go because it was too far away, too much to do at home, too cold, too wet, too much gas, too too too- that I’d better get everything packed and ready the night before or I would simply let my “too” brain win.
Can’t go anywhere so don’t go anywhere
I’ve never neglected my health like I have in the last seven months. Not only have I gained weight, but I haven’t moved enough to keep my body from stiffening. I’m working on it by getting back into a short yoga routine mid-morning- after sitting for too long. Walking just hasn’t been a priority nor does it sound fun by myself. When I’m camping, I walk every morning, afternoon, and evening. I love exploring. In developed areas, I’m just not that interested in walking amongst the traffic noise. But at this point I need to move this ol’ body before it decides not to cooperate with me. With all the other focus on myself maybe, just maybe, I need to get moving!
The pandemic has conditioned me to stay home so getting far away into the arms of Mother Nature has been set aside. And for me, that’s stifling and withering. Nature- the wild is a tonic that I must have to thrive. It has been since I was a child growing up in a very challenging household. Whenever I need spiritual and emotional healing I run to nature. Backyard nature helps and for some people that's all they need. I need wild and messy nature where predators lurk, and the only sounds are water, air, birds, and critter. I need forest and mountain, desert and ocean, slugs and millipedes, birds and bears, and all things wild and free.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings, nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. John Muir
In the end, 2020 has given us all a chance to slow down and decide what’s really important. It’s teaching us how to quickly adapt and find joy in simple things. It’s also painful that so many have died or are becoming sick for months; and for those who have lost their jobs or are struggling with homeschooling. It’s important we find our silver-lining and stay safe. Let’s not go back to what we refer to as “normal.” Let’s start a new life with a new mantra. Finding serenity within; creating a life with meaning; loving every single day we’re alive no matter the challenge. For in the end no doubt the Universe is unfolding just as it should.
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